Spreading Good News (Part 260 – Paraprosdokians)

The goal of Spreading Good News is for readers to:

GET INSPIRED and/or GET MOTIVATED and/or GET INFORMED and/or GET AWE-STRUCK and/or GET A BREAK FROM ALL THE NEGATIVE NEWS and to tell readers about my books!!

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THIS WEEK’S REVIEW:  “The Best Way to Keep  a Man is to Let Him Go (among other things)”

Ava Thrower of Detroit, Michigan, says, “Great Advice on How to Maintain A Long & Loving Relatonship!  Advice you can take to heart from someone who has experienced more than 40 years of wedded bliss!  There are some wonderful recipes that the author shares with the reader at the end of this book!  I’ve tried some of them and they are not only delicious but easy to make!”

Go to http://www.GoodShortBooks.com to read the preview for The Best Way to Keep a Man is to Let Him Go (among other things) and order today.

15% OFF!!  For the month of May, get 15% off!!  At checkout, enter coupon code MAYSAVE305.  Order soon—the month of May is almost gone!!

 

VIEW OUR CABLE TV AD HERE:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2AXHTT8NGT8

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TODAY’S QUOTE

ASK OTHERS WHAT KIND OF PERSON YOU ARE.  SEEK THE TRUTH.

~ Joyce Fields

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TODAY’S BLOG

This clever, funny piece was sent to me by a family friend, Connie Hall.  I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

A “paraprosdokian” is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part.  It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax.  For this reason, it is extremely popular among comedians and satirists.


The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it’s still on the list.

If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

War does not determine who is right – only who is left.

Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Evening news is where they begin with “Good evening,” and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.

To steal ideas from one person is “plagiarism”; to steal from many is “research.”

A bus station is where a bus stops.  A train station is where a train stops.  On my desk, I have a work station.

Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.

I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted pay checks.

A bank is a place that will lend you money—if you can prove that you don’t need it.

Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says “In an emergency, notify”:  I put “DOCTOR”

I didn’t say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

You do not need a parachute to skydive.  You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

Always borrow money from a pessimist.  He won’t expect it back.

A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

Money can’t buy happiness, but it allows you to be miserable on a lot better street.

I discovered I scream the same way whether I’m about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.

There’s a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can’t get away.

I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure.

You’re never too old to learn something stupid.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit “the target.”

Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.

A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway; the good fortune to run into the ones I do; and the eyesight to tell the difference.

Source:  The Internet

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~ Joyce Fields

 

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About Line of Serenity (Joyce Fields)

As a thought leader for today's generation, I choose to be part of the solution and am doing things that positively impact people's lives. In addition to being a happy, married (since 1967!) woman, sister, aunt, mother, grandmother, great grandmother, I have over 40 years' experience in "Corporate America": Stenographer, Secretary, Supervisor, Analyst, Office Manager, Executive Assistant. I am also a professional proofreader and the author of eight books (seven non-fiction; one children's fiction--http://www.GoodShortBooks.com).
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4 Responses to Spreading Good News (Part 260 – Paraprosdokians)

  1. Lena says:

    Great post. I really like the first two. I’ve used the second one before, it’s a keeper.

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