Spreading Good News (Post 699 – BLAST FROM THE PAST: What You Can Do When Someone Hurts You)

The goal of Spreading Good News is for readers to:

GET INSPIRED and/or GET MOTIVATED and/or GET INFORMED and/or GET AWE-STRUCK and/or GET A BREAK FROM ALL THE NEGATIVE NEWS and to tell readers about our good, short books and our online store.

CLICK THE “FOLLOW” BUTTON ABOVE TO RECEIVE AN E-MAIL ALERT FOR EACH NEW, DAILY POST!!

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CONSTANT QUOTE

 

 

IT’S BETTER TO DIE CHASING A DREAM NEVER CAUGHT THAN TO DIE NEVER HAVING CHASED THE DREAM.  ~ Joyce Fields

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KINDNESS IS CONTAGIOUS.  SPREAD IT AROUND.  ~ Joyce Fields

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OCTOBER IS “NATIONAL ANTI-BULLYING AWARENESS MONTH.”

Dear Bully:  A Collection of Poems about Bullying opens a child’s heart to the pain and horror of bullyingWritten from the perspectives of the bullied, the parent of the bullied, the sibling of the bully, and the bully him or herself.  For 5th graders and above.

Joyce is reading six poems from the book at  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-3sdKM-yl2M.  And please leave a comment!!

Order today for all the children you know and love. . .http://www.GoodShortBooks.com

 

THE ANTI-BULLYING PLEDGE

It’s FREE and available at http://www.GoodShortBooks.com!  A useful and very effective tool against bullying.

Gives kids something to live up to–their own pledge!

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ANNOUNCING A NEW BOOK!!  My Simple Quotes to Live By.  This book contains 169 original quotes on 90 pages. 

It’s available at http://www.amazon.com/Simple-Quotes-Live-Joyce-Fields/dp/1466318562/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1344234589&sr=1-1&keywords=my+simple+quotes+to+live+by

 

The “Constant Quote” (above) was chosen to appear in the 2013 Women’s Advantage Shared Wisdom Calendar that is available at http://www.womansadvantage.biz/prod_cat.php 

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TODAY’S BLOG

I have over 700 posts on this blog—going all the way back to July 2010.  “BLAST FROM THE PAST” gives me an opportunity to re-post some excellent pieces that many of my readers haven’t read.  And it’s a chance for regular readers to re-read and refresh!!

BLAST FROM THE PAST

This is another one of my favorite pieces.  I hope you get a lot from it!!  (“Today’s Quote” complements “Today’s Blog.”)

 

 

What You Can Do When Someone Hurts You

Source:  care2.com

Have you ever felt angry and didn’t want to speak to someone ever again for hurting your feelings?  It’s a common scenario: someone says something that’s rude, wrongly accuses us of doing something wrong, or in some other way makes us get reactive or defensive.

This can take us to the point where we most certainly don’t want to wish them well.  But does harboring dislike, revenge, even hate, do us any favors?  Does it really make us feel better in the long run or does it just get us more stressed?

It’s definitely important that we acknowledge what we are feeling—all the anger, unfairness, and aversion—and really honor how hurt we are.  Repressing our feelings means they’ll most likely just come up again at some point, probably when another situation triggers a similar response.

But negative emotions can sap our energy, especially when we hold on to them.  And they spread like wildfire, soon affecting our behavior and attitudes towards other people, like a single match that can burn down an entire forest.

And they create an emotional bond with the abuser that keeps our feelings alive, so that we keep replaying the drama and conflict over in our heads, justifying our own behavior and disregarding theirs.  In the process we become a not-very-nice person.

Anger, aggression and bitterness are like thieves in the night who steal our ability to love and care.  Is it possible to turn that negativity around and chill out so we can wish our abuser well, without necessarily needing to know them as a friend again?  This may sound challenging and absurd but it can make life’s difficulties far more tolerable.  How can we do this?

1. Recognize no one harms another unless they are in pain themselves.  Ever noticed how, when you’re in a good mood, it’s hard for you to harm or hurt anything?  You may even take the time to get an insect out of the sink.  But if you’re stressed or in a bad mood, then how easy it is to wash it down the drain.

2. No one can hurt you unless you let them.  Hard to believe, as no one actually wants to be hurt but it’s true.  When someone hurts us, we are inadvertently letting them have an emotional hold over us.  Instead, as spiritual teacher Byron Katie often says: If someone yells at you, let them yell, it makes them happy!

3. Respect yourself enough that you want to feel good.  Deb did this with her father, an abusive and angry man.  She made the decision that she wouldn’t respond to him with negativity, so she turned it around within herself and continued to wish him well.  He died recently and Deb was able to feel total closure.

4. Consider how you may have contributed to the situation.  It’s all too easy to point fingers and blame the perpetrator but no difficulty is entirely one-sided.  So contemplate your piece in the dialogue or what you may have done to add fuel to the fire. Even when he feels he is 100 percent right, Ed always looks at a difficulty to see what was his part in it.

5. Extend kindness.  That doesn’t mean you’re like a doormat that lets others trample all over you while you just lie there and take it.  But it does mean letting go of negativity sooner than you might have done before, so that you can replace it with compassion.  Like an oyster that may not like that irritating grain of sand in its shell but manages to transform the irritation into a beautiful and precious pearl.

6. Meditate. Meditation  takes the heat out of things and helps you cool off, so you don’t over-react.  A daily practice we use is where we focus on a person we may be having difficulty with or is having a difficulty with us.  We hold them in our hearts and say:  May you be well! May you be happy! May all things go well for you!

How do you deal with someone who has hurt you?  Can you see how to bring more kindness into your life?

 

CLICK THE “FOLLOW” BUTTON ABOVE TO RECEIVE AN E-MAIL ALERT FOR EACH NEW, DAILY POST!!

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Share your comment about this post.

 

NOTE FROM JOYCEIf you enjoyed and/or learned from this blog, please leave a comment and send the link to others.  Thanks!!

If you’re interested in reading all about “My Breast Cancer Journey,” those posts start with post #334.

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~ Joyce Fields

 

ADDITIONAL OFFERINGS FROM JOYCE FIELDS

Joyce is an author who has written eight books.  If you enjoy this blog, you will, undoubtedly, enjoy all her books.  Her sister, Anita, is also an author.

BE INSPIRED!  You can read about and order their books AND order merchandise from their online store at this link (or click the “BE INSPIRED!” button above):

https://lineofserenity.wordpress.com/get-more-inspiration/

Thanks for your interest AND support!!

Contact Joyce at goodshortbooks@yahoo.com.

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SOME OF JOYCE’S FAVORITE BLOGS

I visit these blogs and leave comments regularly.  I think you will enjoy them all!

http://www.lenasledgeblog.com  Books, reviews, give-aways, interviews.

http://living4bliss.com  Believing Life Is Set up for Success (BLISS)

http://goss-coaching.com/author/gosscoaching  A professional writer and wellness coach helping people connect thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and action to create optimal health and a vibrant life.

http://www.thebirkineffect.com  Musings of a “want it all” 21st century woman

http://www.thesweetsensations.com  A baking, entertainment, and lifestyle blog.  Fantastic recipes and food photography, too!

http://www.pennilessparenting.com  A rich life on minimum wage.  Plus fabulous, healthful recipes!

http://www.rumpydog.com  I’m a dog with a unique perspective on human life.

http://www.davidkanigan.com/  Lead.Learn.Live.  David Kanigan:  Inspiration, Ideas & Information.

http://callingoftheheart.wordpress.com  Spirituality, Psychology, and Political.

http://www.petedenton.wordpress.com  Writer of short stories, Flash fiction, and some scripts.

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About Line of Serenity (Joyce Fields)

As a thought leader for today's generation, I choose to be part of the solution and am doing things that positively impact people's lives. In addition to being a happy, married (since 1967!) woman, sister, aunt, mother, grandmother, great grandmother, I have over 40 years' experience in "Corporate America": Stenographer, Secretary, Supervisor, Analyst, Office Manager, Executive Assistant. I am also a professional proofreader and the author of eight books (seven non-fiction; one children's fiction--http://www.GoodShortBooks.com).
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2 Responses to Spreading Good News (Post 699 – BLAST FROM THE PAST: What You Can Do When Someone Hurts You)

  1. Sandra says:

    Good words to live by.

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