Spreading Good News (Post 737 – BLAST FROM THE PAST: Paraprosdokians)

My Simple Quotes - Amazon e-storeMy Simple Quotes to Live By is NOW AVAILABLE ON KINDLE for only $1.99!!  Go to http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Ddigital-text&field-keywords=my+simple+quotes+to+live+by or

http://goo.gl/YXrvl (the shortened version of the link)

See print version below.

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Spreading Good NewsThe goal of Spreading Good News is for readers to:

GET INSPIRED and/or GET MOTIVATED and/or GET INFORMED and/or GET AWE-STRUCK and/or GET A BREAK FROM ALL THE NEGATIVE NEWS and to tell readers about our good, short books and our online store.

CLICK THE “FOLLOW” BUTTON ABOVE TO RECEIVE AN E-MAIL ALERT FOR EACH NEW, DAILY POST!!

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Constant Quote2CONSTANT QUOTE

 

 

IT’S BETTER TO DIE CHASING A DREAM NEVER CAUGHT THAN TO DIE NEVER HAVING CHASED THE DREAM.  ~ Joyce Fields

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Today's Quote

 

 

 

GIVE THANKS IF YOU HAVE ONE OR MORE OF YOUR FIVE SENSES (SEE, HEAR, TASTE, TOUCH, AND SMELL).  ~ Joyce Fields

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Dear Bully ThumbnailDear Bully:  A Collection of Poems about Bullying opens a child’s heart to the pain and horror of bullyingWritten from the perspectives of the bullied, the parent of the bullied, the sibling of the bully, and the bully him or herself.  For 5th graders and above.

Joyce is reading six poems from the book at  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-3sdKM-yl2M.  And please leave a comment!!

Order today for all the children you know and love. . . http://www.GoodShortBooks.com

 

THE ANTI-BULLYING PLEDGE

The Pledge - resizedIt’s FREE and available at http://www.GoodShortBooks.com!  A useful and very effective tool against bullying.

Gives kids something to live up to–their own pledge!

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My Simple Quotes - Amazon e-storeANNOUNCING A NEW BOOK!!  My Simple Quotes to Live By.  This book contains 169 original quotes on 90 pages. 

It’s available at http://www.amazon.com/Simple-Quotes-Live-Joyce-Fields/dp/1466318562/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1344234589&sr=1-1&keywords=my+simple+quotes+to+live+by

 

The “Constant Quote” (above) was chosen to appear in the 2013 Women’s Advantage Shared Wisdom Calendar that is available at http://www.womansadvantage.biz/prod_cat.php 

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TODAY’S BLOG

I have over 700 posts on this blog—going all the way back to July 2010.  “BLAST FROM THE PAST” gives me an opportunity to re-post some excellent pieces that many of my readers haven’t read.  And it’s a chance for regular readers to re-read and refresh!!

BLAST FROM THE PAST

Paraprosdokians

~ Author unknown

 

A “paraprosdokian” is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part.  It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax.  For this reason, it is extremely popular among comedians and satirists.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it’s still on the list.

If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

War does not determine who is right – only who is left.

Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Evening news is where they begin with “Good evening,” and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.

To steal ideas from one person is “plagiarism”; to steal from many is “research.”

A bus station is where a bus stops.  A train station is where a train stops.  On my desk, I have a work station.

Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.

I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted pay checks.

A bank is a place that will lend you money—if you can prove that you don’t need it.

Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says “In an emergency, notify”:  I put “DOCTOR”

I didn’t say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

You do not need a parachute to skydive.  You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

Always borrow money from a pessimist.  He won’t expect it back.

A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

Money can’t buy happiness, but it allows you to be miserable on a lot better street.

I discovered I scream the same way whether I’m about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.

There’s a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can’t get away.

I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure.

You’re never too old to learn something stupid.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit “the target.”

Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.

A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway; the good fortune to run into the ones I do; and the eyesight to tell the difference.

 

CLICK THE “FOLLOW” BUTTON ABOVE TO RECEIVE AN E-MAIL ALERT FOR EACH NEW, DAILY POST!!

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Share your comment about this post.

 

NOTE FROM JOYCEIf you enjoyed and/or learned from this blog, please leave a comment and send the link to others.  Thanks!!

JourneyIf you’re interested in reading all about “My Breast Cancer Journey,” those posts start with post #334.

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~ Joyce Fields

 

ADDITIONAL OFFERINGS FROM JOYCE FIELDS

Joyce is an author who has written eight books.  If you enjoy this blog, you will, undoubtedly, enjoy all her books.  Her sister, Anita, is also an author.

BE INSPIRED!  You can read about and order their books AND order merchandise from their online store at this link (or click the “BE INSPIRED!” button above):

https://lineofserenity.wordpress.com/get-more-inspiration/

Thanks for your interest AND support!!

Contact Joyce at goodshortbooks@yahoo.com.

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Favorite BlogsSOME OF JOYCE’S FAVORITE BLOGS

I visit these blogs and leave comments regularly.  I think you will enjoy them all!

http://www.lenasledgeblog.com  Books, reviews, give-aways, interviews.

http://living4bliss.com  Believing Life Is Set up for Success (BLISS)

http://goss-coaching.com/author/gosscoaching  A professional writer and wellness coach helping people connect thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and action to create optimal health and a vibrant life.

http://www.thebirkineffect.com  Musings of a “want it all” 21st century woman

http://www.thesweetsensations.com  A baking, entertainment, and lifestyle blog.  Fantastic recipes and food photography, too!

http://www.pennilessparenting.com  A rich life on minimum wage.  Plus fabulous, healthful recipes!

http://www.rumpydog.com  I’m a dog with a unique perspective on human life.

http://www.davidkanigan.com/  Lead.Learn.Live.  David Kanigan:  Inspiration, Ideas & Information.

http://callingoftheheart.wordpress.com  Spirituality, Psychology, and Political.

http://www.petedenton.wordpress.com  Writer of short stories, Flash fiction, and some scripts.

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About Line of Serenity (Joyce Fields)

As a thought leader for today's generation, I choose to be part of the solution and am doing things that positively impact people's lives. In addition to being a happy, married (since 1967!) woman, sister, aunt, mother, grandmother, great grandmother, I have over 40 years' experience in "Corporate America": Stenographer, Secretary, Supervisor, Analyst, Office Manager, Executive Assistant. I am also a professional proofreader and the author of eight books (seven non-fiction; one children's fiction--http://www.GoodShortBooks.com).
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One Response to Spreading Good News (Post 737 – BLAST FROM THE PAST: Paraprosdokians)

  1. gabbiniya says:

    Those were funny and made you think at the same time. Thanks for a great start to my day.

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