Caught Speeding
Woman: “Is there a problem, Officer?”
Officer: “Ma’am, you were speeding.”
Woman: “Oh, I see.”
Officer: “Can I see your license, please?”
Woman: “I’d give it to you, but I don’t have one.”
Officer: “You don’t have one?”
Woman: “Lost it four times for drunk driving.”
Officer: “I see. Can I see your vehicle registration papers, please.”
Woman: “I can’t do that, either.”
Officer: “Why not?”
Woman: “I stole this car.”
Officer: “Stole it?”
Woman: “Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.”
Officer: “You what?”
Woman: “His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want
to see.”
The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and
calls for back up. Within minutes, five police cars circle the car. A senior
officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half-drawn gun.
Officer 2: “Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle please?!”
The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Woman: “Is there a problem, sir?”
Officer 2: “One of my officers told me that you have stolen this
car and murdered the owner.”
Woman: “Murdered the owner?”
Officer 2: “Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car?”
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: “Is this your car, ma’am?”
Woman: “Yes, here are the registration papers.”
The first officer is stunned.
Officer 2: “One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.”
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out her wallet, which is open to her license and hands it to the officer. The officer examines the license and looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: “Thank you ma’am. One of my officers told me you didn’t
have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked
up the owner.”
Woman: “WHAT!! And I betcha the lying IDIOT told you I was speeding, too!”
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Lineofserenity's Blog 
Nothing like starting the weekend with a hearty laugh, thanks, Joyce!