FUNNY FRIDAY! May 24, 2019


Funny Friday

You Gotta Love Old Women

An old woman prospector shuffled into town, leading a tired old mule.  The old woman headed straight for the only saloon to clear her parched throat.

She walked up and tied her old mule to the hitch rail.  As she stood there, brushing some of the dust from her face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.

The young gunslinger looked at the old woman and laughed, saying, “Hey, old woman, have you ever danced?”

The old woman looked up at the gunslinger and said, “No, I never did dance.  Never really wanted to.”

A crowd had gathered as the gunslinger grinned and said, “Well, you old bag, you’re gonna dance now.”  And he started shooting at the old woman’s feet.

The old woman prospector, not wanting to get her toes blown off, started hopping around.  Everybody was laughing.

When his last bullet had been fired, the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon.

The old woman turned to her pack mule, pulled out a double-barreled shotgun, and cocked both hammers.

The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air.  The crowd stopped laughing immediately.

The young gunslinger heard the sounds, too, and he turned around very slowly.  The silence was almost deafening.

The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old woman and the large gaping holes of those twin barrels.

The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old woman’s hands as she quietly said, “Son, have you ever licked a mule’s butt?”

The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, “No, ma’am…but…I’ve always wanted to.”

1.  Never be arrogant.
2.  Don’t waste your ammunition.
3.  Whiskey makes you think you’re smarter than you are.
4.  Always, always make sure you know who has the power.
5.  Don’t mess with old women; they didn’t get old by being stupid.


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Books make GREAT gifts!!


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On May 7, 2018, I went to the doctor for my regular checkup.  I weighed in at 159 pounds!!  Now, I’m only 5′ 1″ so that was too much for me, and I declared that 160 would not see me!!

I immediately pulled out this 7-day diet that my sister, Anita gave me several years ago (I kept it just in case I would ever need it!  Thank God!!).

Today is July 22, 2018, and I now weigh 152!!  My goal is 145 to 150.  This diet is fantastic!!  My husband started using it sometime after I did.  He was at 192 pounds.  Today, he weighs 182!!

This is a vegetable soup that you can eat anytime you are hungry.  We cheat a little bit and have some of the foods that we like in addition to the soup.  But we always eat the soup!  Since I’m a breast cancer survivor, I use all organic ingredients, and I make it in a BIG pot—enough to last at least one week.  Here’s the recipe:

32 oz. chicken broth

32 oz. beef or vegetable broth

2 lbs. carrots

1 bunch celery

2 cans diced tomatoes

2 bags frozen green beans

2 bell peppers

1 bunch green onions

Ketchup (to suit your taste)

Seasonings to suit your taste

DRINKS YOU MAY HAVE – Water, coffee, tea, cranberry juice, skim milk unsweetened juices.

FOOD/DRINKS YOU CANNOT HAVE – Bread, alcohol, carbonated drinks, diet drinks, fried foods.


DAY 1 – Eat only soup and fruit.  No bananas.  Cantaloupe and watermelon are lower in calories than other fruits.

DAY 2 – All vegetables.  No beans, peas or corn.  Eat the soup.  You may also have a baked potato with butter.  No fruits.

DAY 3 – Eat only the soup, fruits and vegetables.  You should have lost at least three pounds.

DAY 4 – Eat at least three bananas and as much skim milk as you can today, along with the soup.  Your body will need the potassium and carbs.  Don’t give in to the cravings for sweets!

DAY 5 – Beef and tomatoes.  You may have 10 to 20 ounces of beef and a can of tomatoes (or as many as six tomatoes).  Eat the soup at least once today.

DAY 6 – Beef and vegetables (as much as you want).  You can even have two to three steaks, with green, leafy vegetables, but no baked potato.  Be sure to eat the soup at least once today.

DAY 7 – Brown rice, unsweetened fruit juice, and vegetables—as much as you want.  By the end of the 7th day, if you have not cheated, you should have lost 10 to 17 pounds.  If you have lost more than 17 pounds, stay off the diet for two days before resuming it again.

WE CHEATED!!  We’re not interested in DRASTIC weight loss—just slow, but steady weight loss to get to our target weight.

My husband used to eat at least 14 pieces of bread every week.  He now eats about three or four pieces of bread a week.  He still drinks his beer and wine, but not as much.  We used to eat pizza and KFC about once every 10 days or so; we’ve had pizza and KFC about twice since we’ve been on this diet.  I used to eat a BIG scoop of ice cream every night; I now have a SMALL scoop about three or four times a week.

If nothing else, this new way of eating will teach you to modify the way you eat.  You’ll think about gaining more weight, and that’s NOT what you want!!

EXERCISE! – We’re not exercise fanatics, but we will get on the treadmill, do crunches, stretches, planks, etc., on an irregular (when we feel like it) basis.  And we take wheat grass, vitamins, and minerals EVERY DAY to make sure that our bodies get the necessary nutrients!

It took a long time to get to your UNDESIRABLE weight, so be patient with yourself!!



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BLACK HISTORY MONTH: Claude Harvard (February 3, 2018)

Claude Harvard was my cousin.  He was a modest man.  He didn’t brag about the amazing things he had done.  Sadly, I knew nothing about his genius and accomplishments until after his death.

~ Joyce Fields


Claude Harvard:  Genius Knows No Color

Claude Harvard

For more than half of his life, Claude Harvard fought to overcome the obstacles in his life.  He was a mathematical genius.  But before you think he carried a slide rule with him and was some sort of prosperous preppie prodigy attending a major university, think again.  Claude Harvard was born almost as poor as poor can be.  He was the son of a South Georgia black sharecropper in the years when cotton abdicated its crown as the King of the South.

Claude Harvard was born on March 11, 1911, in Dublin, Georgia.  He attended Telfair School, which was then located on Pritchett Street.  His teacher and school principal, Susie White Dasher, was more than proud of Claude.  Mrs. Dasher related that he was a mathematical wizard and was always at the top of his class.

Claude’s interest in science and technology was aroused around 1921 when he read a magazine article about owning your own wireless radio set.  The first radio station in the country, KDKA in Pittsburgh, went on the air in November 1920.  Georgia wouldn’t have its own station until 1922 when WSB began broadcasting from Atlanta.  Claude was determined to own his own radio.  He saved his pennies and sold salve to raise the money.

By 1922, it became impossible for many black tenant farmer families to survive in the boll weevil-ridden cotton fields of Georgia.  The Harvard family moved to Detroit, Michigan, with hopes of a newfound prosperity.  With his most priceless possession in hand, Claude left the relative tranquility of Dublin for the bright lights of big-city life.

Claude enrolled in a machine shop class in high school.  His teacher observed his talent and recommended him for admission to The Henry Ford Trade School in 1926.  Auto magnate Henry Ford established the school in 1916 to train orphaned children to become workers for his auto plants.  Despite the fact that he was not an orphan, Claude was accepted in the school because of his impressive talents in machining and metal work.  The cards were stacked against Claude at the school where blacks seldom graduated because of the rule against fighting.  The principal figured that Claude wouldn’t make it at the school because there was no way he could finish his classes without getting into a fight with the white kids.  Claude kept his temper and avoided any scrapes.  He excelled in every course at the school.  He was elected president of the radio club at the school. Ten students in the club took a test to become a certified amateur operator.  Claude, the only one of the group to pass the test, became the first African-American in Michigan to receive an amateur radio license.  Harvard, known as “The African Pounder,” worked at the school radio station WARC.  Upon completion of his courses at the Henry Ford Trade School, Claude Harvard was at the top of his class.

Despite the fact that Claude had reached the pinnacle of success at the school, he was denied the automatic right to a union card because of his race.  Harvard later found out that all of his applications for union membership had been discarded in the trash can.  But Harvard’s talents couldn’t be discarded.  The Ford Motor Company hired him anyway and assigned him as the head of the radio department.

In 1934 at the age of 23, Claude was personally selected by Henry Ford to display his ground-breaking invention of a piston pin inspection machine at the Century of Progress Exposition in Chicago, Illinois.  Harvard’s most well-known invention allowed workers to clean the surfaces of auto pistons to 1/10,000th of an inch.  His machine determined the proper hardness of a piston and checked the length and diameter of its grooves, rejecting any defective parts in the sorting phase.  Claude Harvard never forgot the pride he felt at the Exposition.  He was deeply honored by Ford’s confidence in him as well as the pride he felt when other black attendees came to his booth.

Impressed with Harvard’s remarkable abilities, Henry Ford asked Claude to speak on behalf of the company at Tuskegee Institute.  With only one day to prepare the speech, Harvard rapidly researched his topic and presented it to Ford by the end of the day.  The Institute’s iconic scientist, George Washington Carver, welcomed Claude to the school and issued a rare personal invitation to tour his personal laboratory.  As a token of his gratitude, Carver presented Harvard samples of his work and an autographed picture of himself.  Carver remained fond of Harvard and his work and often inquired of him in conversations with Ford.  In 1937, Harvard was again honored by Ford when he appeared in an advertisement in Popular Science Monthly.

While at Ford Motor Company, Claude Harvard patented 29 inventions for the manufacture of Ford automobiles, though he reaped none of the royalties and profits of his genius, all in accordance with a company policy which required employees to relinquish their inventions to the company.  One invention was sold for a quarter of a million dollars to U. S. Steel.  He left the company to establish his own business, the Exact Tool & Die Company.  The initially-successful business failed when white employees of customer companies found out they were doing business with a black businessman.  Claude went to work for the Federal government but soon discovered that he was discriminated against in his pay scale.  An old friend from the Ford Trade School suggested that he take an employment test at the Detroit Arsenal.  Claude quickly solved a trigonometry problem and passed a subsequent civil service exam.  Harvard worked at the Arsenal until his retirement.

Harvard came out of retirement when he began teaching at Focus: HOPE Machinist Training Institute in Detroit in the early 1980s.  The school was organized to teach hands-on training for minority youths.  After two years, Harvard became an unpaid volunteer at the school.  He designed implements and guides to facilitate the production of metal parts.  Harvard maintained that it was the vast experience of himself and other instructors which contributed to better teaching of young students.  Though machine work was controlled by computers, Harvard maintained that the process was still basically the same as it was in the 1930s.  He encouraged his students and all children to study math and to put as much effort into learning as they do into sports.  In a 1997 interview with Otha R. Sullivan, Harvard offered these words of advice, “Have you noticed how kids exercise, play sports and learn dances?  If they treated their brains the way they treat their bodies, they would be great.  If you gave your brain half the exercise you give your muscles, you’d be very smart.  Kids shouldn’t be afraid of mathematics and science.  The subjects aren’t as hard as they look.  I especially recommend that young people tackle mathematics.  It really isn’t that difficult.  Apparently, the teachers just make it seem that way.”

Claude Harvard died in 1999 in his adopted hometown of Detroit.  The young Dublin boy who once dreamed of owning his own radio has been heralded as one of the greatest African American inventors of the 20th Century.  Harvard was philosophical about the impediments of racism in America and encouraged others to aspire to his goals.  In a 1937 interview, Harvard said “The Negro boy who is complaining about the breaks against him should stop squawking and do as this black boy did and make the grade in spite of being black.  I must make the grade.”  In chronicling the early successes of the young inventor, Herbert H. “Hub” Dudley, Dublin’s leading black businessman and a columnist for the Dublin Courier Herald wrote, “Genius knows no color or creed. The world loves a contributor to civilization.”

by Scott Thompson


Also check out the good, short books at!!  True to the Web site’s name, the books are good, and they are short!!  They are also available at!

Eleven (11) books; nine genres:  Relationships, memoirs, parenting, bullying, quotes, health (I’m a breast cancer survivor), spirituality, fairy tale, children’s education.




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1. How do you think you would feel and respond if you lived somewhere and someone invaded it and claimed it as their own?

2. How do you think you would feel and respond if your wife, mother, grandmother, sisters, nieces and other female relatives where then raped by the invaders?

3. How do you think you would feel and respond if, after fighting to save your land, you lost the battle and surrendered and submitted to “treaties,”—ALL OF WHICH WERE BROKEN by those with whom you signed the treaties?

4. How do you think you would feel and respond if, walking on the way to land that your invaders had “assigned” to you, they gave you blankets that were filled with the germs of small pox and other fatal diseases?

5. How do you think you would feel and respond if you were stolen from your own continent, shipped to another world and sold like cattle?

6. How do you think you would feel and respond if you were forced to witness the rape, beatings, torture, hanging, and other horrific actions against your relatives and friends?

7. How do you think you would feel and respond if you were forced to have sex with your own mother, father, sibling, or other relative?

8. How do you think you would feel and respond if you were forced to fight to the death of another person for the “entertainment” of your “owner”?

9. How do you think you would feel and respond if your mother or any other female gave nourishment from their breasts to those that would grow up and would be TAUGHT to hate them?

10. How do you think you would feel and respond if you had to cook “fine food” for your “owners,” but were given “garbage food” for you and your family?

11. How do you think you would feel and respond if you were told that your children could not be “allowed” to learn to read and write?

12. How do you think you would feel and respond if you were told that you were not “allowed” to vote?

13. How do you think you would feel and respond if you were not “allowed” to live wherever you could afford to live?

14. How do you think you would feel and respond if your people were portrayed in the media mostly as thieves, prostitutes, maids, villains, etc., not as accomplished people.

15. How do you think you would feel and respond if you were the last to be hired and the first to be fired?

16. How do you think you would feel and respond if you knew that others committed crimes at the same rate as you, but were not punished as severely as you.

17. How do you think you would feel and respond if you freely shared your culture only to have it co-opted, renamed, and “owned” by others?

18. How do you think you would feel and respond if you were frowned upon for speaking your own language in a world of many languages—not just English?

19. How do you think you would feel and respond if you NEVER saw your people fairly represented as Fortune 500 CEOs, even though your people were just as intelligent as everybody else?

20. How do you think you would feel and respond if your people were WRONGLY shot and killed by the very people who were sworn to “protect and serve” them?

21. How do you think you would feel and respond if, on “movie night” as a member of the U.S. Armed Forces, you had to sit BEHIND THE POWs to watch the movie?

22. How do you think you would feel and respond if there was a loooong history of law enforcement killing your people and getting away with it—even when they’re unarmed or have a permit to carry a gun?

23. How do you think you would feel and respond if you served your country and came back and were treated like you were less than human?


All of the atrocities listed above (and more!) have been and continue to be perpetrated against people of color—especially black people. Yet, generally speaking, we hold no hatred toward those who hate us because we know that we have done nothing to deserve their hatred, and we also know that hating destroys the souls of those who hate! (Acid corrodes the vessel that carries it.) And hatred is the absolute worst kind of acid to the soul!

The NFL players are not—I repeat, ARE NOT—protesting or disrespecting the flag. Even though, ever since Betsy Ross first stitched it together in May 1776, the flag has disrespected people of color, especially black people!

And they are not protesting or disrespecting the National Anthem, even though it has protested and disrespected black people. Francis Scott Key, who wrote it, was a slaveholder. Obviously, “. . .the land of the ‘free’. . .” did not and could not include slaves!! Additionally, the third stanza of the National Anthem actually celebrates the killing of slaves with this line: “. . . No refuge could save the hireling and slave from the terror of flight or the gloom of the grave. . .”


Feel free to share!

Peace and Love

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ENTERTAINING, PROVOCATIVE EXCERPT: “The Best Way to Keep a Man is to Let Him Go. . .”

In this book, I state that, based on MY experiences and observations, “80% of the success of a relationship rests on the shoulders of the woman.” The book explains why.

Here’s an entertaining, provocative excerpt from

“The Best Way to Keep a Man is to Let Him Go (among other things)”


What is a “fault”? Well, according to The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, a “fault” is “Something that prevents perfection.”

When women get together, if the discussion turns to male/female relationships and men’s behavior and faults (and it almost always does), I have never heard a woman make any statement relative to the fact that her man has to put up with her faults. From listening to women, you’d think that females don’t have faults.

Just as women can say, “He would be perfect if it wasn’t for this, and this, and this, and this,” obviously, men can say, “She would be perfect if it wasn’t for this, and this, and this, and this.” We all have faults that can range from slightly funny to downright hilarious, as well as slightly irritating to nearly intolerable.

Many women could learn more about themselves if they would ask their men what they (the men) see as their (the women’s) worse faults. Typically, we can’t clearly see our own. Men or women. It’s all about tolerance and communication—if either of you can’t take living with the other’s faults, you’ve got to talk about it. But remember—it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.

And you have to give specific examples. I always say that we are obligated to tell each other what we see that we think is not right or not healthy for the person or the relationship. The other person is obligated to listen carefully. But, we have to remember that no one is obligated to change. Many times the behavior will improve because you both are aware and watching. But you can’t get mad if no change is made. You did your part; the rest is up to the other person.

Want more of this fun, entertaining, HONEST read, written by a woman who has been married for nearly 50 years (with her man for 60 years)?

Order “The Best Way to Keep a Man is to Let Him Go (among other things)” at 64 pages (includes 21 pages of delicious recipes) for $9.99!!

Make an investment in your present relationship or your NEXT relationship and



The Best Way to Keep a Man cover 082614

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Two AWESOME Forewords for “THE VISION. . .”

the-vision-final-cover-031914Here’s what a former prosecuting attorney for juveniles and a Ph.D. college English professor had to say in their forewords for my book,

“THE VISION: Telling Kids That They Can Make the World a Better Place”

The Vision is crafted in such a way that it is the perfect tool for young children to learn about the value of education and for African-American children to briefly witness the struggles of their ancestors in obtaining an education.

The worksheets in the book are a wonderful way to get children to recognize, think about, and discuss the opportunities available to them both educationally and socially. Having the children create goals and sign contracts is a wonderful idea to stimulate enthusiasm and create a sense of accomplishment.

As a juvenile court prosecutor, I saw first-hand how many kids took for granted the opportunities they had to get an education. I think every classroom and courtroom dealing with young children should make The Vision required reading.

Keisha L. Glenn
Assistant Prosecuting Attorney
Wayne County, Michigan

For late elementary and middle-school children, The Vision is all about discovering who they are and how they can make this world a better place. For teachers, The Vision serves as an interactive classroom guide where students examine themselves and the world as they were, as they are and as they want to be. Best of all, The Vision calls for positive action – and leads the way as children set and move toward their own goals.

Immediately, The Vision provides the script for a brief play about a young boy and a young girl, both slaves, whispering in the barn on a southern plantation in 1855. The boy has just been beaten for wanting to learn to read and write. The girl repeats her sister’s visions of the future, a place where all boys and girls in America have an opportunity to learn to read and write as they develop their own skills and enrich the world. Based on her sister’s visions of the future, the slave girl draws the boy (and the audience) into hope and new possibilities for the future.

The Vision provides fun, practical activities that structure and stimulate critical dialog. The creative teacher can use the tools and exercises in this book for a student’s individual self-exploration, for large and small group discussions, for teacher and student interaction and for student discussions with others outside the classroom. In this workbook, students ask questions, record and discuss responses, evaluate themselves, seek feedback, recognize their value and begin to improve themselves and the world.

Motivational home and school contracts encourage students to commit to goals. Students can track and evaluate their own performance. Students will recognize that they are the important people who can continue to learn and grow as they shape themselves and the future.

Carol Carpenter, Ed.D.
Livonia, MI

“THE VISION: Telling Kids That They Can Make the World a Better Place” is available at and at for $9.99 (48 pages; ages 8 to 16).

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Books for Christmas –or Anytime!

If you’re going to buy gifts for Christmas this year, books make GREAT gifts, especially for kids!!

Order delightful books from We have wonderful books for adults, too!!


“THE LIMITLESS GOLDEN RULE: 21 Ways to Use the Golden Rule In Your Life” – 43 pages, $7.99

“THE VISION: Telling Kids That They Can Make the World a Better Place” – 48 pages, $9.99

“My 15 Dogs: A 55-Year Journey of Love” – 64 pages, $7.99

“The Best Way to Keep a Man is to Let Him Go (among other things)” – 64 pages, $9.99

“Dear Bully: A Collection of Poems about Bullying” – 52 pages, $7.99

“Mother’s Dozen: An Easy Recipe for Raising GREAT Kids” – 48 pages, $7.99.  Also available in Spanish!

“Line of Serenity” – 167 pages, $12.99

“Jette Black and Her Seven Friends” – 28 pages, $9.99

“My Simple Quotes to Live By” – 90 pages, $7.99

“A Breast Cancer Journey to GREATER Joy: Taking the fear and mystery out of a breast cancer diagnosis” – 60 pages, $12.99

These same books are also available at and PLEASE post YOUR review there!!

We have Kindle, too!!

Check out all the books’ descriptions at and at!!


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